Sticky Note Kindness

 

I recently attended a positive psychology course with Louisa Jewel of Positive Matters. It was a wonderful two days, and as one might expect at a positive psychology workshop, I met some incredible people, whose stories I hope to share over the next week or so.

To begin, a story that takes place at a school in St. Catharines, Ontario. Perhaps it can remind us, although our hearts are heavy with sorrow, and aching for the families of Sandy Hook Elementary School, of what can be inspiring and transformative about school.

Early, long before the school bell rang, 20 young people set out to encourage their fellow students with 1000 acts of kindness. Although the event was meant to celebrate Random Acts of Kindness Day, there was nothing random about this at all – it was carefully planned, and one might even say in fact that it was a Deliberate Act of Kindness (which is really the best kind!).

In their own words, and pictures, here is their story…..

1. What inspired you to do this?

Our club, Mosaic, decided to do something for random act of kindness day so we were brainstorming ideas. We were inspired by another school in our area who also had the idea to post anonymous sticky notes with compliments on them. We wanted to do something special because we felt like our school really needed something like that to happen.

2. What was the reaction of your friends and others at the school?

Of course there were mixed reactions from the people in our school. The majority of people were in awe when they walked into school that day, and they thought it was cute.I saw a lot of people just slowly walking down the hallways, reading each different sticky note as they passed (some even took a few for themselves to keep). We got a lot of positive feedback from all the students and staff. We didn't advertise that we were the ones that did it, so no one thanked our group personally but there were posts on facebook and instagram thanking whomever did it! The only negative feedback that we got was that it was a "waste of paper", but the smiles and the compliments that we got made it all worthwhile. 

3. Has this little project inspired you to be more aware of kindness, and to do more?

YES!!! 

4. What is the best thing about being kind?

 The best thing about being kind is seeing the smiles and knowing that you made it happen.

    

                                                                                                     

Sticky Note Kindness

Dak News and Interviews!

What to share first? 
Isn't that a great position to be in? I'm feeling super blessed with kindness today. I struggled with posting yesterday in honour of World Kindness Day and all, but here at Deliberate Acts of Kindness our default position is that everyday is world kindness day, kindness isn't random it is a conscious choice that inspires human flourishing.  

So to begin, we have a school board, yes an entire school board, from Jacksonville, North Carolina - Onslow County Schools - that have just received their first shipment of customized dakbands!

We cannot wait to see the stories, and travels, of all the dakbands that will connect Onslow County School children and teachers to their community and the world. When you receive a blue dakband be sure to share your story on the website!

  
Another great dakband story deserves some attention and page time. A few months ago I received an order for some bands from an organization called the KarmaKlub. An initiative that a couple of mothers were inspired to launch a few years ago. I thought it would be great to do a little Q & A with Julie, one of the founders. Here it is:
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Can you tell us a little about your organization and how it can to be?

The karma club was formed when myself and Tanya decided to turn our kids weekly "play date" into something more meaningful. We decided that instead of playing, the kids could come up with ideas on how we could give back to our community through acts of kindness. That was 7 years ago and we are still going strong!

How did you come up with the name for your project?

I have always believed in Karma, and thought it was important to teach our kids about it. The name just came to me one day and I liked it...Karma Club, kids for kindness.

How does kindness support your philosophy?
Our motto is "kids for kindness"...so everything we do is based upon how we can spread kindness to others.

How did you learn about the dakbands?
I learned about DAK bands when I received one from my niece in Yellowknife. I immediately realized that it would be a great fit for our club--and so I presented it to them. (did you read that, Yellowknife!!)
Does wearing the dakband contribute to your personal outlook and awareness as far as kindness is concerned?

Wearing the band reminds me to be on the lookout for kindness in action.

Have you given a dakband away yet?

No, I have not given mine away yet--as I still need to register it!

Anything else you would like to add, please do.
We have told the kids that there will be a prize awarded at the end of the year for the person whose band has travelled the farthest. It will be interesting to see what comes up.

Thanks for everything you do. Julie

Julie, thank-you, and everything YOU and KarmaKlub do - you make the difference!                                                                                                     

Dak News and Interviews!

Jones Soda Kindness

 

It is just so encouraging when profit driven companies practice Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR – in the business marketing world). Which, really in simple terms translates as: integrity, community engagement, relationship building, and employee wellbeing. In the past few months I have come across a couple of really inspiring stories that deserve dakbands, and recently I experienced the profound effect of such corporate compassion.

About nine months ago a dear friend, Rick Hill, a member of my home church group was diagnosed with cancer. Last Saturday we celebrated his life at his funeral. He died a pop star – literally.

His beloved wife, Dena, entered a picture of Rick in a contest to appear on the label of Jones Soda. Their picture won. When the company learned that Rick had died, they provided the root beer with Rick’s label for everyone at the reception. Nuff said. Go buy some Jones Soda!

It should be noted that the picture above epitomizes Rick - shoveling snow in a kilt (sporran and all), work boots,  a leather jacket and a cowboy hat (he made that kilt himself!). How we will miss you, and your kindness.         

                                                                                          

Jones Soda Kindness

No More Chemo Kindness

I first met Jason when he was about 14 or 15 years old. He and my son, Kohen, became friends, united by their mutual passion for skateboarding. Jason was quite unlike any of Kohen’s other friends. For one thing, he was about six and half feet tall, had girl-long hair, and a mouth that could rival a sailor. He was also brutally honest, funny, smart, and those big brown eyes had a depth and wisdom beyond his years. He soon became number two son.

 Kohen and Jason

Admittedly, as someone who learns the hard way, he made some poor choices after high-school that derailed him in some ways, but probably accelerated his personal growth and development in other ways. He accepted responsibility, and his punishment, with his usual reflective wisdom (which his mother and I often hoped would become foresight instead of hindsight:). Little did we know how Jason’s experiences would provide him with the strength and endurance needed to face cancer.

Last Christmas, he was diagnosed with Stage 3, Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. He was 21. It had spread to his chest and abdomen. For the next six months he spent every other Wednesday in a chemo chair while a four drug cocktail slowly dripped the equivalent of draino into his veins, scouring away everything in its’ path – we hoped. I was fortunate enough to be his chauffeur on most days. And although I know he dreaded the poking and prodding, the fatigue and sickness, the isolation of sitting in that chemo chair, I looked forward to our time together in the car. We talked about pretty much everything with Jason’s frank and insightful wisdom. I’m not sure who helped who more on those car rides.

On August 15^th, we made what we hoped was our last chemo drive to Hamilton. Then the waiting began. Waiting for the results of the six-month Cat scan. I find it difficult to describe in words, that tension of tempering hope with reality. I can’t imagine what it must have been like for Jason. September 5^th was Results Day. On the way I asked Jason, on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being the greatest despair ever, and 1 being the complete opposite) how disappointed he would be if he needed just a couple more treatments – just to be sure what to expect if the news was not what we hoped. Without hesitation he said, “A ten.” I wasn’t looking forward to the appointment.

Last chemo treatment

 

By the time the doctor came into the room all I could hear was the blood pounding in my head. She began talking about size of the lymph nodes, but ended with, “We can stop the chemo.” I’m pretty sure that’s all Jason heard. Five powerful, hopeful words. The doctor wouldn’t say he was ‘cured’, but definitely in remission! The only thing left to do was decide where to have our celebratory dinner. Jason picked Kelsey’s.

Celebration Dinner

We packed up the car with my six year, Jason’s girlfriend Dana, her son Caleb, and my son’s father, and headed out to celebrate. When our waitress, Danielle, asked us what we were celebrating I almost cried, “As of today, Jason has been declared cancer free.” Then she almost cried. A few moments later she brought out all our appetizers and explained that the manager, Brian Moore, had gifted them in honour of the great news. After dinner he came to shake Jason’s hand and congratulate him. I gave Brian and Danielle dakbands – of course. We took pictures and basked in the glow of kindness. Thank-you Brian. Kelsey’s is now our new favourite restaurant.

Kelsey's kindness

                                                                                                     

No More Chemo Kindness

Wonder and Happiness

 

A friend recently asked her FB friends to share their secrets of ‘being’ happy. This is an incredibly gifted artist wondering about the essence of happiness. She received 31 replies. I was not one of them, but I’ve been thinking…….

My six and a half year old (who recently, upon seeing a picture of me receiving my Brock Alumni of Distinction Award, remarked, “Mommy, you looked absolutely beautiful. That must have been hard work.” So I’m on fence about his kindness) asks me at least 500 50 times a day, “Don’t you wonder about…..” It could be anything: how he managed to get both legs in one leg of his shorts, how his ALL his lego ended up under the table, how he stayed in the lines while colouring, how all the webkins managed to meet at the bottom of the stairs for their staff meeting. Needless to say, wonder isn’t always the word I’m thinking. But what is amazing is that he always asks about my wonder when he is happy.

Etymologically wonder originates from the 13^th century word, wundor, and came to mean the emotion associated with some marvelous, astonishing thing. The dictionary describes the verb as meaning, to be curious about. So Garrett is constantly asking me if I am astonished, curious, even marveling, about his accomplishments – about what makes him happy. And when I take a deep breath after the fiftieth time to remember this perspective, I realize that wonder and happiness are connected.

In a recent article on the Greater Good website, Sonja Lyubomirsky, professor and author of the 2007 book, The How of Happiness, reveals some of her research about happiness. Interestingly, she has found that individuals who express gratitude are likelier to be happy, and she describes gratitude as wonder, among other things. But more perhaps even more importantly, she tested whether or not kindness increased happiness.

Guess what? It does. In fact, individuals who performed different acts of kindness throughout a week experienced a greater increase in happiness than those performing the same act over and over again. I wonder how she might feel about the dakband project :) 

Here is an incredible video that expresses wonder.

                                                                                                                                                       

Wonder and Happiness